13th March 2023 - 1/365 Days
Journal
Shit, I trailed off into the music video - Halfway to nowhere.
Back to case, I remember that last night I went for a long walk. I know that I went for a quick mini walk in the morning, I exercised, I cooked breakfast, bathed myself, cleaned the house, kitchen, read manto's story - Murli ki Dhun, made tea, relaxed for a while, made dinner and watched TV.
I also did three other tasks that were on the spot thrown at me.
So, I do remember what I did the entire day. I was giddy, and upbeat about the entire day. I mean, I do not want to go to bed, I am that awake.
Yet, it feels like my body was moving on its own the entire day. Even though I felt the day. At the end of the day it feels like someone else just came by and spent the day for me. Like I have done nothing. Like, I want to do some work, some task, something, anything.
But the truth is that I did spend the entire day doing things, thinking things, and working out. I still, do not feel like I did something. For a moment I was unsure if I remember the day at all. Thankfully, I do.
I will continue this new style of feeling, because I do enjoy it. I ATE! SOMETHING THAT I COOKED!! That's a huge thing for me. And I have learned that one should now stop doing a habit until it reaches its climax point.
So 1/365 days it is.
Also, This entire thing is a part of series where I stop taking things slow and steady. I am picking up the pace, utilizing the 24 hours, pre-planning what I want to do and also doing things on a whim.
And I can join a theatre class from tomorrow and end up with a production within this month. I can start doing my best? The entire point of this new lifestyle choice is to make me comfortable with failures. To make it easier for me to do things without being a 100% ready for it.
Like Nike says, Just do it.
Should I do it? I mean, imagine, what if I did it? My mind would be in a chaos. And I think that chaos is good, it means something new is happening.
If you are scared, do it scared. Just do it lavanya. - me to me
So, this is a part of the new journaling habit I am picking up.
Other than the fleeting feeling of chaos.
I was also occupied by this peculiar thought.
Why are parents unable to have the sex talk with their children, how can the government help with that, how can I help with that? Can we figure out a way to give specific age based sex education? I don't know yet.
Because I see the news, children raping children, elders misusing a child's trust and many other cases. And it comes to my mind that it is essential for children to know how to protect themselves. Now that I think about it, what about the men who rape monthly babies?
Is it curiosity? Is it lust? Is it frustration? Is it easier to ruin a child/lady/men than to go to a brothel to quench your lust? Is it even lust or just plain inhuman behavior ?
Here, I am trying to understand both ends. I mean, I understand why men all around the world have started lashing out to the extremes. Why men have always been feared. I might not be able to understand everything yet.
Still, I would love to see children being well aware about their doings and what is being done to them. So that, no child becomes a harasser out of curiosity, and no child gets abused due to ignorance.