What the actual Fuck

 I have so many problems and so many solution in my head right now that I need to pen down my thoughts to clarify them. Now I do have my main diary, the calendar diary for "Must Do" to-do list and the other journal where I mark things. But I have to create more space for more kind of thoughts. I mean I don't know how long this inner monologue is going to be, so, I can't make it in any other diary. What if I don't have enough space to create more space to creat emore space and more space and more space for everything that has been going on in my head. 

So To begin, first, I'll go and get my "Must DO" To do list diary to maintain it to the current date - that is 11 april 2024. So, First things first, imma go get the diary and some snacks to go with it cause gaon mein aur kya hi he that I like, it's like, What the actual fuck???? how do you expect anyone to pass their exams in  this. I mean, yes yes SoMeOnE WhO ReAlLy WaNtS iT wIlL Do It In ANy WaY PoSsIbLe!!! FUCK THAT IDEAOLGY i AM REALLY TIRED OF PUTTING MYSELF IN ADVERSE SITUATIUONS JUST BECAUSE "IF YOU WANT IT YOU'LL DO IT ANYWAYS?????????????i MEAN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? WHO TAUGHT THAT TO OUR PARENTS???????????????????????????WHO THE FUCK IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS BHAI?????????? ZABARDASTI ADVERSITY MEIN KAREIN TO PROVE THAT WE ACTUALLY WANT IT REALLY BAD??????WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK!!!!1^oh also, i have to stop writing personal monolgues on that whatsapp thing cause it's quite useless. 

NEXT- GET THE "MUST DO" TO DO- LIST CALENDAR DIARY!!!!!(p.s - i do need a physical calendar)
and also a snack please?yes. I have the diary, the pens and the sancks with some water, now what??
Now, open the diary and write what you have to while eating you r snack like a good baby, okay? 
yes, ma'am. 
I got distracted and reminded by other imporatnt things and of other urgent matters. Like The paani ki balti jo mene garam hone ke liye lagayi thi then jasmine was coughing, she needed me to clean up her space and help her with the cough - (Jasmine- My female labrador that's 8-9 years old) 
So, yah, where was I? 

You were updating the "Must Do Diary" with today's goals. 
Yeah...yes yes......hmmmmmmmmm......................................hmmmmmmmmmm..........haan. yaad aya. 

You done rambling and venting the fuck out of your brain???

yes......

So, what's next???

um...i have to list all my issues...like..oh okay, let's make a list. 

1. Pea Protein and my knee issues - Solution = MONEY 
2. Hunger pangs and starvation in gaon leading to lack of concentration and health issues - SOLUTION = MONEY 
3. Distance from prakarsh leading to definite relationship issues because of trust issues - SOLUTION = MONEY 
4. In need of personal undisturbed space to study for long hours. - Solution = MONEY 
5. Need of professional guidance by teachers to fast pace my studying. - Solution = MONEY 
6. Need to travel to places where UPSC Aspirants have chai to have good discussions about the topics I study so that it sticks in my brain - S

...........and I lost my train of thought midway. started doing something else and just simply began to do something else.