The Vicious Cycle

 One day you wake up and you have three pending tasks, then it becomes 5 then 10. Its a compounding effect. It fucks up the mental health not because I am unable to be motivated but because I am unable to feel the sense of accomplishment. I am unable to say to myself, that good job at trying and winning at that one tiny task. 

I feel overwhelmed by the voices sometimes, some are absolute bold and supportive,but some are the mean girls in my head that make me choose between the now me and the past me. 

I try to listen  to  very loud music and drown it out, but it full honesty I can truly say. That sometimes you just have to ride the wave. 

So this is me riding the wave, Until I win. Because there is no world, no hypothetical dimension where I do not win. 

All the best to me from 2024.