A Letter to my Ex .

The existence of love was never in doubt, not a moment of fear that love might be a facade.

Experience it, I used to say it to myself. Every side of the story was worth absorbing, not because it was perfect but because it's not meant to be perfect.

 
After we parted ways, I questioned my decision a thousand times, even though it was yours. My family could be envious of us if they ever knew how well we knew each other. How deeply we loved. But all of that didn't change the truth of now. I have loved people enough but was never good with when to stop because I didn't need to.

Leaving the good memories in my head and shifting the rest to the trash is my way of respecting the time I spent with the people I leave behind in my journey. Why tarnish the perfectly well reputation of a feeling of the past? Why not imagine your eyes to be the calmest? Why give up the giddy feel of seeing you laugh? Why hate the reason I learned to make the perfect tea when I am a coffee person?
Why give up the comfort of your favorite songs? Why forget the safety of your arms?
Because I might miss you?

I will tell you this, I don't miss you, but I will always respect and remember the things I learned from you and because of you.
 I don't need to , but that is my way of saying , that you were worth the time I spent with you, that you were worth my time, energy, and love.

Why do I need to write this letter to you when I can tell you myself?
Because I cant push my thought process on you , I cant make you believe that I will be there always if you need someone, nor tell you that I will always be your friend , because I don't have the right to change you into me , and nobody should.

But this is to tell everyone, going different ways might have a range of reasons but why hate the person? why bury the good memories when you can relive them not from the point of you of a broken heart but from the eye of a child looking back at their learning process.

I have known people who get triggered by a song , place , smell, even color and go into full-fledged mood swings, I respect how everyone goes through their emotions but if it's pulling you back to a cycle of protecting yourself from such triggers then is that the right process for you?
If it is coming in the way of your loving process why not change it a bit , I have met people who cant do certain things for their partners because they used to do it for someone else, and that didn't end well . Why judge the new person on the scale of the old one?

Giving a fair chance to the new one is what you owe to yourself . Loving people is not meant to be easy ,it's the rarest of all to get your hands on because instead of learning and letting go of the dark and unjust moments of the past, we create a wall so thick that none can get through to you.
Yes , you might be well protected , but you can never be loved too.

I cant pick up the phone and call you because whatever phase you are going through I have no right to disrupt your growth but if you never learn then what's the point of life.
I learned to not rely entirely on my intuition and going with the flow.
I checked myself that I don't know how to set boundaries and that makes it difficult for people around me to respect me as I always go with whatever makes them happy.
I learned your dedication to things you set your mind on.
I learned that people show love in different ways and sometimes it can be so different that you might not even be able to see it or feel it.
But I also learned to know what I want and don't want , and if saying No is reverted with, we will talk about it later, it means I need to run in the opposite direction.


But what I want you to learn is , hatred should never be an option. It harms the soul and its growth.


Hope I loved you enough to be in your good memories.
Your ex.